The desire to become a foster parent can arise for various reasons. But if the main goal of a person is to make the child happy and give him a better life, these intentions can be considered good. Those who are preparing for such a step need to understand that a difficult path awaits them. A few key things that are worth knowing for those who decide to adopt a child have been collected in the material.
Adopting a child takes a long time
Any capable and adult citizen can adopt a child from an orphanage or boarding school, regardless of whether he is married. But those who decide to take this serious step will have to go a long way.
First of all, you need to prove that you have an income level sufficient to provide for the child, and that your living conditions are in order. The list of basic requirements also includes:
- absence of chronic diseases, for example, alcoholism, drug addiction, oncology or HIV;
- a certificate stating that you have not been deprived of parental rights before;
- no criminal record under articles related to crimes against human health and life;
- lack of information about the registration of same-sex marriage in another country;
- the presence of a certificate stating that there are no people in the family recognized by the court as incompetent;
- availability of a certificate of graduation from the school of substitute parents.
It is important to establish contact with guardianship authorities
As a rule, in each city or region there is a specialist who deals with adoption issues. He may be an employee of the department of social protection of the population or the department of education.
Before you adopt a child, you need to get to know a guardian. He will help you figure out what documents you need to collect and tell you how children are selected and in what order the adoption procedure takes place.
The specialist will also ask you questions to find out what is the reason for your decision to adopt a child and how much you are aware of the degree of responsibility for this action. Therefore, before embarking on this path, think carefully about your motivation.
You need to study at the School of Adoptive Parents
For the past few years, for those who want to adopt a child, a new rule has been working in our country. They need to take courses at the Foster Parent School.
The training scheme may be different, depending on the organization that conducts these courses. But in most cases, it is divided into several stages and takes from 70 to 150 hours. In the process of training, future adoptive parents go through the following stages:
- work with a psychologist who reveals the true motives and allows you to understand what exactly caused the desire to adopt a child;
- mastering the theory of how the psyche of a child from an orphanage is arranged and what stages of relations with him the adoptive parents will have to go through;
- study of issues related to the legal aspects of adoption, including interaction with guardianship authorities.
Get the child’s consent to adoption
According to the laws in force in our country, in order to adopt a child who has reached the age of 10, you need to get his consent. But if, prior to filing an application for adoption, the child lived in the family of the adopter and already considers him as his parent, as an exception, the adoption procedure can be carried out without his consent.
But if you want the child you’re considering adopting to be ready for some major changes in his life, you should have a serious talk with him.
For example, you can tell him about how your family relationships will develop and what changes for the better await him. About what phrases you should definitely not use when communicating with a child, read the material.
The child will need time to adjust.
A new room and surroundings, unfamiliar food, different classmates: a child from an orphanage who ends up in a family needs a lot of time to adapt to new living conditions. Even if they are several times better than those in which he lived before.
Therefore, for those who are preparing to become foster parents, psychologists recommend not to wait for the child to immediately show his best side. But it is still possible to make this process less painful.
To do this, you need to consult a family psychologist, talk to the adopted child more often, tell him about the rules that apply in your home, and be prepared to slightly change them or introduce a few new ones, taking into account his wishes. So the child will be able to understand that in the new family he is as important as everyone else.
Relatives may not support your decision
Adopting a child is an important and psychologically difficult process. And those who decide on this act want to feel the support of loved ones.
However, you need to understand that some, even the most devoted friends and relatives, may not support your decision. In this case, you should think about what this may be connected with and what impact their opinion may have on you.
Child can look for biological parents
Regardless of how comfortable a child is in a foster home, they may want to find biological parents. Psychologists believe that several factors contribute to this at once, including the desire of the child to find out why they did this to him.
If you are preparing to become a foster parent, you should understand how you will act in such a situation. If it seems too complicated for you, you can use the secret adoption. It is regulated by the Family Code and provides for punishment for those who violate this secret.
However, it will only be possible to keep it if you are going to adopt a newborn or a small child who has no memory of biological parents. In addition, modern psychologists advise not to deceive a child in such an important topic as his origin. It is better to honestly explain in a correct and accessible form for him where he came from. Otherwise, if he learns the truth not from you, even in adulthood, he may regard this as a betrayal on your part.