Some people cannot have children due to health conditions, while others deliberately refuse to become parents. But such a decision, especially when the true reasons are not known, is often questioned or condemned by others. And not always people say unpleasant things on purpose. In this article, we have collected seven phrases that should not be used in a conversation with people who do not have children.
1. You would make a good mom/dad
This phrase can confuse, and in another case, anger or sadden. You don’t always know why a person doesn’t have children. Perhaps he would like to start them, but he cannot because of the peculiarities of his health – in this case, such a phrase “hit the patient.” And if a person deliberately refuses to have children, such a remark can cause irritation, because it will be perceived as a hint that his decision is wrong.
In addition, not everyone likes it when they focus on their positive qualities from this point of view. If you still want to mark them, then it is worth saying in a neutral way: “You are good at getting along with children, that impressed me” or “I like the way you tell stories when you play with my child.”
2. You will change your mind when you meet the right partner.
The reluctance to have children is not always associated with a partner. It may be due to completely different reasons, about which a person is not obliged to inform others. This phrase sounds very offensive and causes corresponding feelings.
A person may take it as a hint that his partner is not good enough, or as an attempt to say that he made the wrong choice. This can lead to feelings of irritation, disappointment in the interlocutor or resentment towards him.
3. You won’t understand this because you don’t have kids.
Some people like to hint that their interlocutor does not understand something just because they have not had children. For example, what is lack of sleep, how difficult it is to cope with whims, what happiness when a child says the first word.
The fact is that it is not necessary to go through something personally in order to have an idea about it, to be able to sympathize with trouble or rejoice in the success of another person. And such phrases can offend the interlocutor, hinting that he lacks life experience.
It is unlikely that anyone will like it when their dignity or abilities are belittled. Therefore, instead of phrases that, due to the absence of children, the interlocutor does not understand you, it is better to just tell him in detail about your feelings if you want to share them.
4. The clock is ticking
This phrase in most cases causes a fit of rage and should not be said to anyone. As well as hinting about a lonely woman with forty cats. By the way, we talked about how this stereotype appeared here.
When the phrase “the clock is ticking” is heard by women who are struggling with infertility, it leads to painful experiences, as it is a reminder of what they want, but cannot yet do. And for those who deliberately refuse children, most likely, such reminders are simply tired, since they hear them very often. So thoughts about age and its connection with the birth of children are best kept to yourself. Moreover, every woman is already well aware of how old she is.
5. It’s selfish
It is hardly worth judging the level of a person’s egoism only by the presence or absence of children. As well as about his other personal qualities.
In addition, in some cases, it is the birth of a child that can be called a selfish act. For example, when parents have a great desire to have it, but there is no way to adequately provide and educate. As a result, the child may grow up unhappy or experience many childhood traumas, which will significantly worsen his life.
6. Life without children is meaningless
The meaning of life is a very individual thing. For some, it is expressed in children, while for others it is a successful career or the opportunity to visit all the countries of the world.
You should not say this phrase, trying to reproach the interlocutor or “return him to the true path”, since your opinion is subjective and may contradict his worldview. Or hint to him that his life is a waste of time until he has a child, which is very disappointing.
7. You will regret it
It is unlikely that anyone can know what the other person will regret. And this phrase is just a way to reproach him for being wrong. But it is noteworthy that he can say the same about those who decide to have a child and will be right in his own way.
You should not impose your opinion or outlook on life to strangers, especially in such a delicate matter, if you want to continue to communicate with them.