What you need to be prepared for if you break off relations with relatives – HEROINE
Different views on life, toxic communication, an attempt to influence feelings: these and other problems inevitably lead to conflicts with relatives. Some of us are ready to put up with troubles, others want to break off relations with once close people as soon as possible. To make this process less painful, it is important to understand what consequences it can lead to. A few things that you need to be prepared for if you are going to stop communicating with relatives have been collected in the material.
1. You may experience guilt.
Breaking ties with the people who have surrounded you all your life can be difficult. Especially if we are talking not about one relative, but about a significant part of them.
Feelings of guilt that you may encounter will make you doubt the correctness of the decision you made. Therefore, if you do not intend to deviate from your opinion, it is worth reminding yourself of what led to the desire to break off relations with relatives and how this should affect your life in the future. The main thing to remember here is that the mere fact of blood relationship with someone else does not make you obliged to endure the inappropriate behavior of this person all your life.
2. Relatives can turn mutual acquaintances against you.
Breaking off relations with relatives, you should know that their reaction may not be the most harmless. The desire for revenge can lead to the fact that they will begin to spread gossip about you in a circle of mutual acquaintances.
And if you decide to completely stop communicating with toxic relatives, most likely you will not have the opportunity to resist their pressure on your mutual acquaintances. You will only have to understand which of these people will gossip about you and think about how dear these acquaintances are to you.
3. You can realize that the breakup didn’t solve the situation.
Sometimes breaking up with a toxic mother or other relatives seems like a panacea to us. But moving away from the family, you can understand that all your problems continue to live with you.
If you are thinking about stopping contact with relatives, you should understand that this decision may not change almost anything in your life in a global sense. Significant changes are likely to be brought about by psychotherapy sessions and a change in one’s own behavior.
4. You may need time to get over the loss.
No matter how toxic relatives may be, you may feel depressed for a while after breaking up with them. It’s natural to want to mourn your losses. Even if it is difficult for you to admit to yourself that relatives were of great importance in your life.
The rupture of relations with relatives can also be accompanied by a feeling of devastation. It manifests itself in constant fatigue, sleep problems, mental problems. Read about why this condition occurs and how to cope with the feeling of devastation, read here.
5. You may be psychologically pressured.
For many people, bonding with family is a great value. Therefore, your acquaintances, having learned about the intention to break off relations with relatives, may not understand you. Some of them may try to put psychological pressure on you and push for a truce with your family.
But if you understand that by stopping contact with toxic relatives you will become happier, do it. And find the strength in yourself to form clear personal boundaries that even a close friend who loves to give unsolicited advice cannot violate.
6. You will feel freedom
As difficult as the process of breaking up with toxic relatives may be, by doing this, you can become happier. After all, a blood connection with a person does not at all guarantee that relations with him will be beneficial and joyful.
But to become truly happy and free, breaking off relations with relatives may not be enough. Therefore, you should seriously think about what you would like to fill your life and the place vacated in it.
7. You can change your mind
Even though breaking up with toxic relatives may be a simple necessity, there is a chance that you will regret what you did. Especially if you are one of those for whom the family is a holiness that should be carefully guarded.
If you have doubts about how necessary it was to break off relations with relatives, you can always try to restore communication with them. But now in the context that will suit both you and them.
8. You may feel lonely
Everyone has a different relationship with loneliness. For some, it seems attractive, while for others it scares and makes you doubt yourself.
If, after breaking up with relatives, you realized that you feel lonely, try to get all the benefits out of this state. For example, focus on enjoying the things that only you enjoy and discover a new creative side of yourself.
Read related:What is gilttripping and how to resist the imposed feeling of guilt
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