Why there is a need for recognition and whether it should be suppressed – HEROINE
All people need social approval – this is due to the fact that we are social creatures. But an excessive desire for recognition can be a sign of self-doubt and a number of other serious problems. In the new material, we understand why the need for recognition may arise, how and in what cases it should be suppressed.
Why is there a need for recognition?
As a rule, a person’s misperception of himself is laid at an early age. The need for recognition may appear in a child whose parents did not pay him due attention. The lack of maternal and paternal warmth will also lead to the fact that the child will face neurosis, depression and will try in every possible way to behave in such a way that they pay attention to him.
Having not received warmth and affection from the closest people, a person begins to strive to receive an external assessment from others. In this way, he tries to feel his importance and formulate more reasons to love himself.
How is the need for recognition expressed?
Sometimes the need for recognition arises in only one of the areas of life. For example, love or work. In this case, a person strives in every possible way to earn the love and respect of a partner or boss in order to feel his significance. But if the expectations of such a person do not match what is happening in reality, he may become depressed and face serious problems with self-esteem.
Should the need for recognition be suppressed?
Psychologists refer to the need for recognition as one of the basic psychological needs of a person. But if it cannot be satisfied in childhood, a person is faced with trauma. In adult life, it may not manifest itself too openly, but at times the need for recognition will cause a lot of inconvenience.
You need to suppress the need for recognition if the meaning of this need is to receive approval from others that you cannot give yourself. In this case, your main task is to learn to take responsibility for your feelings and understand that the main person who should love you is yourself.
How to deal with the need for recognition
To get rid of the problem, first of all, you need to stop devaluing your victories and successes. This can be done if you understand who owns the devaluing thoughts in your head. As a rule, they sound the voice of our parents, teachers and other people who, in childhood, may not recognize our achievements and not take into account our thoughts and feelings. Below are some more tips on how to deal with the need for recognition.
Keep track of when you have an acute need for recognition
The reason why there is a need for recognition is different for everyone. But in order to cope with the problem, it is important to understand what exactly provokes it. A personal diary or notes on the phone can help to do this. Fix in them the events and actions, having completed which, you most often expect recognition from others.
Remember our time is limited
Those who constantly strive to gain public recognition forget about their own emotions and significance. Over time, this leads to serious problems with self-esteem and total dissatisfaction with your life. In this case, it is important to understand that our time is limited and spending it trying to get approval from outside is not a good idea.
Look for new behaviors
For those who want to qualitatively change their lives, psychologists offer to change the outdated model of behavior and replace old habits with new ones. To do this, you need to learn not to take everything that happens personally. For example, in a situation where a person is trying to show aggression, do not answer him in the same way, but walk past and switch to the position of an observer.
Learn to refuse
The ability to say “no” is a skill that needs to be developed in order to become a complete and independent person. It is especially important to learn how to say “no” to those who are dependent on the opinions of others. For more information on when you should not be afraid to refuse, read the material.
Come out of a reality in which it is uncomfortable to stay
If something annoys you for a long time, you need to understand if you have the opportunity not to remain a part of what is happening. So, if for a long time you live with an unsatisfied need for recognition, which worsens your condition, think about how to get out of this situation. The thought that you have the right to change your reality in which you are uncomfortable can make you stronger.
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